It
is my very great pleasure to welcome author,
A.G.Billig
onto the blog today.
Summer
love story
I might have lost the love of my
life the summer after my high-school sophomore year. I was walking on the beach
with a friend. My mother had preferred the shadow on the alley. The emerald,
Baywatch-style bathing suit a French lady had bought me (to allow as much skin
in the sun as possible) made a nice contrast to my brown skin. Suddenly, out of
nowhere, he appeared by my side. A tall, tanned, muscled young guy. Perhaps it
was the sea, but he had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I am dreaming, I told myself. To understand my reaction, you must
know two things. First of all, that in that part of Eastern Europe where I was
born, women are beautiful but men are far from having the looks of a Brad Pitt.
Secondly, I had always been the ugly duck. Almost invisible to the boys in my
high-school.
"You
are gorgeous," he said with a smile that melted my heart and then
introduced himself. Alex or something, I'm not sure. Alex, a professional
athlete, a member of the national swimming team. “I would like to take you out
tonight. Have a lemonade, eat some ice-cream," he added.
"Well,
hum, I don't know," I mumbled while my friend was giving me an encouraging
look. Here he was, the guy of my dreams,
not only good-looking but also well behaved and kind, and I hesitated.
"Is
there a problem? Perhaps you already have a boyfriend?"
I
shook my head.
"I'm
not sure I can. I've got something planned with my mother."
The
words sounded stupid, the sound of my voice, unfamiliar. As I picked up pace, my
eyes became moist."
"Let
me talk to her. I promise to get you back whenever she wants. Give her my
passport as a token until our return."
"I
doubt she would allow me to go out with a stranger."
These
were my last words to the handsome swimmer. He tried to keep up pace with me
for a while then stopped. I didn't look back. Not once.
Fast-forward
a couple of years later. Change of scenery. I am a journalist accredited to The
Golden Stag Music Festival in Dracula's country, attending the Simple Minds
press conference. They are still one of my favorite bands. Songs like
"She's A River" or "Don't You Forget (About Me)” are part of my
writing soundtrack. I remember raising my hand, putting the questions I had
prepared, and asking Jim Kerr to take a picture together when the press
conference ended. He was wearing a black T-shirt, dark suit pants, and smelled
nice. He was shorter than he appeared in the videos but still charming. Normally,
the tour promoter takes care of a band. They make sure the guests are properly
taken care of. I don't know what the tour promoter's people were doing that day,
but, to my surprise, after we took the picture, the artist asked me if I had a
car. Of course I had. He wanted to get to his hotel, located in a mountain
resort some fifteen miles away. The rest of the band wanted to stay downtown
but he needed some time for himself.
"Could
you give me a ride?" he asked, a twinkle in his eyes.
Imagine
Jim Kerr, that Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, in my not-so-fancy car. Imagine me, a
twenty-something anonymous girl, taking this world-renowned star to his hotel.
I still can't believe I said no. I found some pathetic excuse - old habits die
hard, and walked away. The next evening, I was right in front of the stage. Jim
Kerr didn't hold a grudge. I swear that, at some point during the show, he sang
just for me.
Sometimes,
even though we are not aware of our beauty, others can see it. They pierce
through our veil of self-doubt, limiting beliefs, self-criticism, and insecurities.
They love us despite our obvious lack of self-love. They offer us the gift of
acceptance; they put a mirror in front of us, which we push away out of fear. The
fear of not being good enough, of abandonment or rejection. The fear of what
other people would say or think. Once we face these fears, we understand they
are not real. We get to know us for who we really are, strengths and
weaknesses. We embrace our being, entirely. We return to self-love - a state of
grace that brings miracles in all aspects of our life.
Have I
known this back then, would my life be different today? Did I miss out on being
the mother of a blue-eyed kid or having my name on famous musician's list of
private guests? I don't know. But I know I missed some memorable life experiences.
At least, I learned from my past. I have made a decision. And I challenge you:
let's make this summer memorable. Let's get rid of our fears, ditch our masks.
Let's open ourselves to life, love, and happiness. Please, say yes.
About the author
A.G.Billig is a love fairy, a fiction and non-fiction
author, certified trainer and radio host. She has a master in public. As a
former TV producer and host and editor-in-chief of glossy magazines, she knows
how mass media operate. For the past seven years, A.G. Billig has been a
spiritual seeker practitioner. Traveling became a way of self-knowledge and
enlightenment. Her spiritual trip to Abadiania, Brazil in 2010 was an
eye-opener about her life purpose. It was then that she realized she had to
return to her childhood dream: becoming a writer. "I
Choose Love!",
her latest book and an Amazon Bestseller, is the perfect summer read providing
practical advice on how to attract more love in our life.
Sports, dancing, being outdoors, reading, taking pictures, listening
to the music rank high on her leisure activities list. Yoga and meditation are
an important part of her daily routine.
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